Christmas challenges

I usually try to keep my blogs very positive (or at least informative, when they are about controversial or difficult topics). I'm not Pollyanna, I just have a really blessed life, with friends and family I love (and who love and support me), and a beautiful place (my favorite on earth) that I am lucky enough to call home. That said, I do of course sometimes have more difficult experiences and thoughts. If you read this blog to be uplifted and don't want to hear anything about life challenges, that might be construed as "negative", stop reading this one now and come back tomorrow. :)

I think our culture has completely missed the point of Christmas. Yes, I know I'm not the first person to express this, but my recent experience with that holy holiday really is making it hit home. Why am I suddenly blogging about this now? My sister Jocelyn just called me to tell me that Mom was complaining about the gifts Dad bought her for Christmas, and one of the things she said (to my sister, remember) was "that glass church he got me is so kitsch". My sister's response? "I got you that, Mom." Whoops. (For those of you not familiar with Yiddish, "kitsch" essentially means "tacky".)

Now for the record, I thought that the glass church my sister got my Mom was quite pretty, and it even reminded me of the United Methodist Church here on the island (it had the same simple, classic structure and shape). But that's not the point. What I started thinking about after talking with Jocelyn was how it can sometimes be difficult to shop for people, especially if they haven't mentioned something specific they would like. I literally have a spreadsheet on which I keep thoughts about potential future gifts, so that if someone oohs and aahs over an item, or mentions in conversation that they could use a particular something, I can save that thought until the next gift giving opportunity. Failing that, I often fall back on buying items that "fit" with something the person collects or enjoys, which is easier the more things that are in that category. My Dad, for example, loves the Three Stooges, is a drummer, likes to play pool, and writes left-handed, so I can usually find a gift related to one of these things which hopefully he will like. (Even that strategy is not foolproof, though...I remember one year overhearing my Dad say that he was tired of receiving golf themed items from me. I don't buy those any more.) I often joke that I should be incredibly easy to shop for because I collect angels, sunflower and seashell themed items, decorative cow things for my kitchen, gold or brass Christmas ornaments, and pitchers, plus I have multiple hobbies which can lead to gifts (scrapbooking, knitting, cross stitching). Some of my favorite gifts ever are the ones which combine two of the above: I love the creativity and thoughtfulness of the people who have given me cow-angels, seashell-angels, and other combinations; this year I even got a seashell-angel-Christmas ornament!

I also love to eat, so any gift of food will be deeply enjoyed (most of my friends gave me munchies this year...I got delicious roasted peanuts, a mug full of chocolates, a plateful of assorted Christmas cookies, and a delightful looking home baked bread which I haven't tasted yet but I know will be fantastic). The great thing about gifts of food is that they are neutral enough to give to almost anyone, but personal enough (whether the giver made them him- or herself, or just put them together in or on a decorative mug, bowl, tray, plate, etc.) to seem thoughtful.

Which brings me to where I'm going with all this musing. When people are difficult to shop for (which can happen with people we hardly know and people we have known all our lives), another option is to fall back on the "neutral" or "generic" types of gifts. I received several of these this year, and I've already put them in my re-gifting box. (If you gave me a gift this year and you want to know whether it's in the re-gift box, forget it...I'm not going to tell you!) I actually appreciate re-gift-able gifts, because, remember, I live on an island! When I need a gift for a last minute event, I am thrilled to be able to find one quickly (no muss, no fuss, no shopping). I also put some thought into my re-gift giving and try to choose one (from my reasonably wide selection) which "fits" either the person or the occasion (I have some gifts which are perfect housewarming gifts, others which would be great to give to a couple together and therefore could be used for a wedding or anniversary gift, etc.) Now I know that some of you are just horrified by the concept of re-gifting, and think it's the tackiest (should I say "kitsch-est"?) thing anyone could ever do. I'm okay with that, I just disagree with you.

So here's my actual point: the fact that we are so pressed to give something (or possibly multiple somethings) to everyone at Christmas that we end up falling back on generic gifts even for our closest loved ones indicates we're really missing the point. Every year, there is a large pile of gifts under our tree. I know, I should be grateful and feel blessed by that (and I do). But I also feel overwhelmed and acquisitive and materialistic. Even before I'm finished unwrapping, I'm thinking either "where am I going to put this?" or "great re-gift". The fact is, I have everything I need, and all the rest is really just STUFF. And I've got more than enough STUFF too! Also, remember the thing that started this whole musing was my Mom's "open mouth, insert foot" comment to my sister. The fact that Mom didn't even remember who the gift she was maligning came from speaks volumes about getting too many gifts.

There are five people in my close family who get together for Christmas (our extended family members are spread out all over the world), so each of us should only have four gifts under the dang tree! Why don't we each just give each other ONE gift, which we've either picked out especially for that person based on our knowledge and love of him/her, or made by hand especially for him/her? (One of my favorite gifts this year is a picture of lilies which my sister hand painted for me.) The point of Christmas is to remember Christ's birth and celebrate God's amazing gift to the world. Even if you don't believe in that, then the point for you can be to celebrate life, love, and togetherness with your friends and family. Either way, mounds of gifts aren't necessary, and perhaps create more challenges than they are worth.

Okay, I think I'm done ranting now. I hope that any gifts you received this year for whatever you celebrate made you feel loved, appreciated, and known. And any that didn't, or that you just didn't need or have room for, re-gift those babies! :)